Dress Like a Pot of Gold

Before writing this, I had no idea of the actual date of St. Patrick’s Day. Low and behold, it’s

March 17th instead of just being sometime in March. That’s how serious of a holiday it is for me,

and now I’m going to tell you how you should dress for the occasion.

Should You Wear Green?

St. Patrick’s Day 2019 falls on a Sunday, therefore if you work an office 9-5 job, don’t worry

about being violated by some pinchy (AKA the guy that never pays attention in those HR

meetings) coworker. HOLD UP THOUGH. A lot of my readers are of the LDS faith, no

disrespect, but a lot of Mormon guys have no problem popping a personal bubble with a pinch

for not wearing green. [AHHAHA DEAD, true. -Meredith]

The point being, wear what you want and be ready to throw fists if a grown adult tries to pinch


Being Festive is Cool but Green is Ugly

This is true, unless we’re talking about the Green God, Shrek. Instead of wearing green, just

keep a DVD copy of Shrek on you. Problem solved, let’s move on.

What if You Don’t Own Shrek or Anything Green?

If you don’t own anything Shrek related, you have bigger issues. If you must know though, that’s

why we drink till we hurl. Or if you don’t drink, eat till you hurl. It’s all green, baby.

But Seriously

Okay, okay, okay. Wear green socks. There are some Wu-Tang shirts that are lime green,

although it’s an ugly color, nobody will notice because it’s common knowledge Wu-Tang is

better than The Beatles. Get some green Mardi Gras beads, better yet, wear those beads to

church. If anyone asks, tell them Nick said it’s okay. Take that sacrament like a shot of warm

whiskey, and have a marvelous St. Patrick’s Day!