Before writing this, I had no idea of the actual date of St. Patrick’s Day. Low and behold, it’s
March 17th instead of just being sometime in March. That’s how serious of a holiday it is for me,
and now I’m going to tell you how you should dress for the occasion.
Should You Wear Green?
St. Patrick’s Day 2019 falls on a Sunday, therefore if you work an office 9-5 job, don’t worry
about being violated by some pinchy (AKA the guy that never pays attention in those HR
meetings) coworker. HOLD UP THOUGH. A lot of my readers are of the LDS faith, no
disrespect, but a lot of Mormon guys have no problem popping a personal bubble with a pinch
for not wearing green. [AHHAHA DEAD, true. -Meredith]
The point being, wear what you want and be ready to throw fists if a grown adult tries to pinch
Being Festive is Cool but Green is Ugly
This is true, unless we’re talking about the Green God, Shrek. Instead of wearing green, just
keep a DVD copy of Shrek on you. Problem solved, let’s move on.
What if You Don’t Own Shrek or Anything Green?
If you don’t own anything Shrek related, you have bigger issues. If you must know though, that’s
why we drink till we hurl. Or if you don’t drink, eat till you hurl. It’s all green, baby.
Okay, okay, okay. Wear green socks. There are some Wu-Tang shirts that are lime green,
although it’s an ugly color, nobody will notice because it’s common knowledge Wu-Tang is
better than The Beatles. Get some green Mardi Gras beads, better yet, wear those beads to
church. If anyone asks, tell them Nick said it’s okay. Take that sacrament like a shot of warm
whiskey, and have a marvelous St. Patrick’s Day!